“What I think I’m trying to say is that I want Augie to know I’m much more than what I do, what I’ve done. That I’m constantly growing, changing, discovering.”
This is so hard to do. And it’s so hard to condense the feeling into words to act as a reminder. And this is great!
And this.
“That he won’t be able to say, “It’s like my old man always says,” because there won’t be anything I always say. To be consistently in flux, open, steady in my heavings. To take up sailing.”
To be dad and to be(not) to be the “authority” figure instead of the guide. To learn the love the flux. To keep the beginners mind and still be Dad when they ask why. I love this.
Wow, thanks so much, Jeremy. I really appreciate the time and consideration you gave it. Means a lot. You are right on about that balance of being an authority figure and a guide, of knowing there are times when we are really cool and times when he will hate me.
I think I'm biding my time for the kids to get a little older to write a Lilly to learn how to sail. I've never done, but it feels like it would be my thing.
Your kids are lucky to have such a great dad! Proud of you and what you are doing for your family, bro. This was a great reminder to take in and enjoy every moment we can with our kids. Time isn't slowing down.
Love the pictures! As always, you challenge me to think, Jason. I’m getting Zen and the Art of Archery off the bookshelf, looking up Karma Yoga, and what a triangle offense is! You are a great, loving, giving Dad and I truly hope you will be able to take up sailing one of these years. ❤️
Thanks, Mom. David Coggins wrote that he loved knowing he could always count on his mother reading his work. It's one of the best attributes of our moms, if we're lucky. Thanks for always reading.
Scott, so great to see you on here. Thanks so much for stumbling upon. Grateful you did. Thanks for taking the time to read and for letting me know. I'm glad you will be following along. Hope you are well.
With three adult children I am much further down that road of parenting. I have the pleasure of seeing, feeling, embracing the persons they have become. And, like me, they are still crafting themselves. The difference being, they are actively parenting that next generation while seeking that better angel within. Absent that parenting responsibility I have the luxury of observing as they do so. I am reminded, and amazed by, how demanding parenting is/was. And how impressionable, and resilient a child can be. Those perspectives are a challenging balance.
Looking back, my wife and I were intent on providing learning opportunities for our girls, thinking we needed to be ever active and vigilant. But those numerous day-to-day demands made it difficult to be that active, ever vigilant teacher, guide, dispenser of wisdom. That is where their resilience, their basic urge to do what is right, filled our voids.
As you asked yourself, what will they embrace, what will they reject? My daughters are all successful, due in part to our words, due in part to them observing our actions, especially the actions. What we did, vs what we said. Then, each in their own singular way, read the differences and developed positive behaviors that were not learned from us, their parents. They have more drive, are more socially responsible, more financially responsible. They developed positive behaviors of their own.
That fact challenges the belief we needed to be ever vigilant, ever parenting. That resilience, that impressionability in childhood needs to always be in mind, but have confidence that kids can fill in the blanks. They can learn on their own. They can, as the years pass, be wiser than we most often fail to give them credit for.
From the vantage point of age it is so easy to say "don't worry." But when you are in the thick of it, not so much. Worry a bit, but know if you consistently express your love your kids have a safe place to make those very good decisions they are quite capable of making.
And by the way, I'm betting Cassie's words below are spot on.
Mark, always so grateful for the time and thought you give to my writings, and for building on them with your own considerations. I love the dialogues it creates. Few things could mean more to me as a writer. I'm grateful for the perspective you provide here, being further down the road, as you say. I think you make such an important point in noticing the difficulty balancing the demands of parenting with the impressionability of young kids. I can't always be at my best for them, but I don't want my low points to be what they remember, what shapes them.
And I'm going to keep this one with me: "Worry a bit, but know if you consistently express your love your kids have a safe place to make those very good decisions they are quite capable of making." I'll be keeping that with me.
You’re such a great dad.
Love you, Jo. Thanks for the love, and the support.
Ah! This is just beautiful. This:
“What I think I’m trying to say is that I want Augie to know I’m much more than what I do, what I’ve done. That I’m constantly growing, changing, discovering.”
This is so hard to do. And it’s so hard to condense the feeling into words to act as a reminder. And this is great!
And this.
“That he won’t be able to say, “It’s like my old man always says,” because there won’t be anything I always say. To be consistently in flux, open, steady in my heavings. To take up sailing.”
To be dad and to be(not) to be the “authority” figure instead of the guide. To learn the love the flux. To keep the beginners mind and still be Dad when they ask why. I love this.
And I want to learn to sail too. Real bad.
Wow, thanks so much, Jeremy. I really appreciate the time and consideration you gave it. Means a lot. You are right on about that balance of being an authority figure and a guide, of knowing there are times when we are really cool and times when he will hate me.
I think I'm biding my time for the kids to get a little older to write a Lilly to learn how to sail. I've never done, but it feels like it would be my thing.
Thanks, Jeremy.
Beautiful.
Thanks so much, Matt.
Your kids are lucky to have such a great dad! Proud of you and what you are doing for your family, bro. This was a great reminder to take in and enjoy every moment we can with our kids. Time isn't slowing down.
Thanks, Dan! So much appreciate the read and your kind words. It means a lot. And you’re right. It certainly isn’t slowing down.
Love the pictures! As always, you challenge me to think, Jason. I’m getting Zen and the Art of Archery off the bookshelf, looking up Karma Yoga, and what a triangle offense is! You are a great, loving, giving Dad and I truly hope you will be able to take up sailing one of these years. ❤️
Thanks, Mom. David Coggins wrote that he loved knowing he could always count on his mother reading his work. It's one of the best attributes of our moms, if we're lucky. Thanks for always reading.
Nicely written Jason. I’m glad I stumbled upon this and I’m looking forward to reading more in the future.
Scott, so great to see you on here. Thanks so much for stumbling upon. Grateful you did. Thanks for taking the time to read and for letting me know. I'm glad you will be following along. Hope you are well.
You never fail to get me thinking....
With three adult children I am much further down that road of parenting. I have the pleasure of seeing, feeling, embracing the persons they have become. And, like me, they are still crafting themselves. The difference being, they are actively parenting that next generation while seeking that better angel within. Absent that parenting responsibility I have the luxury of observing as they do so. I am reminded, and amazed by, how demanding parenting is/was. And how impressionable, and resilient a child can be. Those perspectives are a challenging balance.
Looking back, my wife and I were intent on providing learning opportunities for our girls, thinking we needed to be ever active and vigilant. But those numerous day-to-day demands made it difficult to be that active, ever vigilant teacher, guide, dispenser of wisdom. That is where their resilience, their basic urge to do what is right, filled our voids.
As you asked yourself, what will they embrace, what will they reject? My daughters are all successful, due in part to our words, due in part to them observing our actions, especially the actions. What we did, vs what we said. Then, each in their own singular way, read the differences and developed positive behaviors that were not learned from us, their parents. They have more drive, are more socially responsible, more financially responsible. They developed positive behaviors of their own.
That fact challenges the belief we needed to be ever vigilant, ever parenting. That resilience, that impressionability in childhood needs to always be in mind, but have confidence that kids can fill in the blanks. They can learn on their own. They can, as the years pass, be wiser than we most often fail to give them credit for.
From the vantage point of age it is so easy to say "don't worry." But when you are in the thick of it, not so much. Worry a bit, but know if you consistently express your love your kids have a safe place to make those very good decisions they are quite capable of making.
And by the way, I'm betting Cassie's words below are spot on.
Mark, always so grateful for the time and thought you give to my writings, and for building on them with your own considerations. I love the dialogues it creates. Few things could mean more to me as a writer. I'm grateful for the perspective you provide here, being further down the road, as you say. I think you make such an important point in noticing the difficulty balancing the demands of parenting with the impressionability of young kids. I can't always be at my best for them, but I don't want my low points to be what they remember, what shapes them.
And I'm going to keep this one with me: "Worry a bit, but know if you consistently express your love your kids have a safe place to make those very good decisions they are quite capable of making." I'll be keeping that with me.
Thanks, Mark.